Friday, January 15, 2016

Pearls of Wisdom Teeth

I got my lower wisdom teeth pulled this Thursday. That's the short way of saying I'm writing this post while my entire head is in intense pain. That's partly because I hate the way painkillers make me feel and I get off them as fast as I can and partly because I'm fortunate to have very strong, healthy teeth that require exceptional effort to extract from my head, especially when they're growing in sideways like bulldozers.

The conversation between the surgeon and his assistant (or the heavy drilling, cracking and yanking) should have been a solid clue about how how much trauma was actually happening. But anesthetic made it seam like a bit of an exaggeration at the time. Turns out anesthetic affects judgment as well as nerves. Besides causing you to underestimate what's going on, it also causes you to think you don't need more anesthetic.

I've replaced my usual diet of anything that doesn't eat me first with soft, watery things that must be precisely 98.6' or my jaw threatens to explode on contact. Never thought I would be so happy to see oatmeal for dinner. On that train of thought, one redeeming thing about strong pain killers is they also kill your appetite and any profuse drooling that goes along with simultaneously being ravenous and unable to feel your tongue and lower lip. There's a certain irony to not being allowed to eat for ten hours before a surgery that leaves you unable to eat afterward. It's the little things.

An incomplete list of things I'm thankful for today includes: skilled surgeons, vacation pay, ice (outside my mouth), a comfortable couch, a safe home where I can stare blankly into space (more than usual), Netflix when staring into space gets old and drinkable protein. I'm truly blessed.